Entry #130 - Untitled

There are three guys who have died.

They are outside the gate of Heaven. Unfortunately, lots of people had been dying recently, and they can’t let everyone in. St Peter decides that whichever of the three had suffered the worst and most tragic death would get in.

The first guy starts, “I came home from work, to my flat, and I couldn't find my wife. I then heard her in the shower. I’d been suspecting that she was having an affair, and I was sure he was still in the flat. So I went looking for him but couldn't find him anywhere. Finally I went out onto the balcony and I saw a man hanging over the edge for dear life. So I stamped on his fingers, that didn’t work I went back into the flat and came out with a knife. Finally he fell but he landed in a bush in the garden and was still moving. So I went back into the flat and come back out with my refrigerator which I dropped killing him instantly. I went back into the flat, and started feeling guilty. So I took my gun and shot myself.”

The second guys says, “Imagine this. You are washing windows at a local block of flats when you slip and fall. You think you are doomed, but then you catch yourself on a balcony.
This happened to me. However, this guy came out of his flat, and instead of helping me, he tried to make me fall. Finally he cut my fingers off and I fell.
I landed in a bush just in time to realise that the man was dropping a refrigerator on me. Then I died.”

“OK.” says the third man, “Imagine this. You are having an affair with a guy’s wife. The guy comes home…you hide in the refrigerator…”