Entry #123 - 4 Babies

One day, 4 babies were born at K.K. Hospital: a German, a Jewish, a Filipino and a Singaporean.

However, someone mixed up the babies by mistake, and the nurses couldn't differentiate between them.

However, the head sister had a bright idea. She lined the babies up in front of her and exclaimed, "Heil Hitler!"

At hearing this, the German baby raised his arm in a salute, while the Jewish baby soiled his diapers. In the meantime, the Singaporean baby turned to the Filipino baby and said, "Clean that up!"

Entry #122 - Untitled

A pregnant woman gets into a car accident and falls into a deep coma. Asleep for nearly six months, she wakes up and sees that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby.

The doctor replies, "Ma'am, you had twins! A boy and a girl. The babies are fine. Your brother came in and named them."

The woman thinks to herself, "Oh no, not my brother, he's an idiot!"

Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor, "Well, what's the girl's name?"

"Denise," the doctor says.

The new mother thinks, "Wow, that's not a bad name! Guess I was wrong about my brother. I like Denise!"

Then she asks the doctor, "What's the boy's name?"

The doctor replies, DeNephew.

Entry #121 - The ONE

I have one

You have one

Your mother uses your father's one

And your auntie uses your uncle's one

A married lady would acquire one

But a divorced lady would lose her one

Arnold Schwarzenneger has a longer one

Michael J. Fox has a shorter one

Madonna doesn't have one



The Chinese usually have short ones

While the Indian usually have long ones

Do you have one?

How long is your one?

Which one is your preferred one?

Whats the answer?





Your surname, what else!
But I like your thinking

Entry #120 - Untitled

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.

They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish."
"Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world."
Puff! She's gone.

"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, just relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life."

Puff! He's gone.

"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the Manager.
The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."

Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.

Entry #119 - Untitled

As you lie back your muscles tighten. You put him off for a while searching for an excuse, but he refuses to be swayed as he approaches you.

He asks if you're afraid and you shake your head bravely. He has had more experience, but it's the first time his finger has found the right place.

He probes deeply and you shiver; your body tenses; but he's gentle like he promised he'd be.

He looks deeply within your eyes and tells you to trust him-he's done this many times before.

His cool smile relaxes you and you open wider to give him more room for an ease entrance. You begin to plead and beg him to hurry, but he slowly takes his time, wanting to cause you as little pain as possible. As he presses closer, going deeper, you feel the tissue give way; pain surges throughout your body and you feel the slight trickle of blood as he continues. He looks at you concerned and asks you if it's too painful. Your eyes are filled with tears but you shake your head and nod for him to go on. He begins going in and out with skill but you are now too numb to feel him within you.

After a few moments, you feel something bursting within you and he pulls it out of you, you lay panting, glad to have it over. He looks at you and smiling warmly, tells you, with a chuckle; that you have been his most stubborn yet most rewarding experience.

You smile and thank your dentist. After all, it was your first time to have a tooth pulled.

Naughty, Naughty!

Excuse me, What were you thinkin'?

Entry #118 - Untitled

US Naval Communications


This is the transcript of an ACTUAL radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995.

Americans: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.

Canadians: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.

Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.

Canadians: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.

Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, THAT'S ONE FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER-MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.

Canadians: We are a lighthouse. Your call.

Entry #117 - 1 to 10, 10 to 1

Ah Lek was asked to make a sentence using 1, 2 ,3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 and 10.
Not only did he do it 1 to 10, he did it again from 10 back to 1.
This is what he came up with...

1 day I go
2 climb up a
3 outside a house to peep. But the couple saw me, so I panic and
4 down. The man rush out and wanted to
5 with me. I run until I fall
6 and throw up. So I go into
7 eleven and grab some
8 to throw at him. Then I took a
9 and try to stab him.
10 God he run away. So, I put the
9 back and pay for the
8 and left
7 eleven. Next day, I call my boss and say I am
6. He said
5, tomorrow also no need to come back
4 work. He also asks me to climb a
3 and jump down. I don't understand, I so nice
2 him but I don't know what he
1.

Entry #116 - Untitled

The wife is busy frying eggs, when her husband comes home. He walks into the kitchen and immediately starts yelling:

"CAREFUL!!! CAREFUL!!! MORE OIL!!! TURN THEM!!! TURN THEM NOW!!! WE NEED MORE OIL!!! THEY ARE GOING TO STICK!!! CAREFUL!!! CAREFUL!!! TURN THEM!!! TURN THEM!!! HURRY UP!!! ARE YOU CRAZY!!!! THE OIL IS GOING TO SPILL!!! USE MORE SALT!!! THE SALT!!!!"

The wife is very upset: "What the hell is wrong with you? Why are you yelling like this? Do you think I don't know how to fry an egg?"

The husband calmly replies:
"This is to show you what it feels like, when I am driving and you sit next to me..."

Entry #115 - Untitled

A Texan arrives at a New York Hotel, checks in and tells the desk clerk to send up a bottle of good whiskey and a woman to his room.

In a short while, someone knocks on his door. When he opens it, there stands a lady in aSalvation Army uniform. He looks surprised but invites her in.

She says, "You asked for a lady, didn't you?"

He says, "Well, Yes", so she begins to disrobe.

When she is almost undressed, she stops suddenly and says, "By the way, are you married or single?"

He says, "I'm married" so she starts to put all her clothes back on.

"What the Hell?", the Texan asks.

She replies, "We're strictly for the needy, not for the greedy".

Entry #114 - Untitled

A black man walks into a cafe one early morning and noticed that he was the only black man there. As he sat down, he noticed a white man behind him. The white man said, "Coloured people are not allowed here."

The black man turned around and stood up. He then said:


"When I was born I was black,"

"When I grew up I was black,"

"When I'm sick I'm black,"

"When I go in the sun I'm black,"

"When I'm cold I'm black,"

"When I die I'll be black."

"But you sir..."

"When you're born you're pink,"

"When you grow up you're white,"

"When you're sick, you're green,"

"When you go in the sun you turn red,"

"When you're cold you turn blue,"

"And when you die you turn purple."

"And you have the nerve to call me
coloured!!!"

The black man then sat back down and
the white
man walked away...

Entry #113 - Untitled

Man at the Doctor's

Doc: I have two bad news for you
Man: Bring it on
Doc: First, you have cancer
Man: Oh my god
Doc: ...and the Alzheimer's disease.
Man: Oh shit......but at least not cancer

Entry #112 - Little Johnny

Little Johnny kept getting into trouble for disrupting his third grade class, seems he was regularly busting out obnoxiously loud farts.

His teacher kept him after school to have a talk with him and, maybe, resolve the problem. When she insisted on knowing why he exhibited such offensive behavior, Little Johnny said, “I do it because I can do it better than anybody, and I’m proud of it.” The teacher, in a moment of desperation, says, “If I show you I can do it better than you, will you stop?”

Little Johnny agreed and the teacher placed two pieces of paper on the floor with identical piles of chalk dust on each one. Johnny dropped his pants, squatted down, farted and blew all but a tiny little speck of dust off the paper. The teacher dropped her panties, lifted her skirt, squatted down and farted but when she was done, there wasn’t a trace of chalk dust left on the paper.

Johnny was astonished and asked if he could see her do it again. She was willing and as she repeated the process, Johnny peeked underneath her skirt.

“No wonder you won!” he exclaimed indignantly,”you’ve got a Double-Barrel!”

Entry #111 - Untitled

One day bobby and grandpa went fishing for the day.

While out in the lake, grandpa pulls out a smoke.

Bobby asks "Grandpa can I take a puff?"

Grandpa replies with "Well bobby can you touch your asshole with your dick?"

Bobby then shakes his head "No grandpa I can't."

Then your too young yet bobby says grandpa.

Later Grandpa pulls out a beer, Bobby asks for a sip of it and grandpa asks again the same question and sadly Bobby had the same answer.

On the way home grandpa stops and buys scratch and wins (Tickets you can scratch for a chance to win money).

Grandpa scratches his and turns out he wins nothing, he turns over to Bobby

"So Bobby, did ya win anything?"

After a few minutes of silence Bobby yells OH WOW!! I JUST WON TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS!! WOO HOO.

Then Grandpa asks, "Hah! Bobby you DO plan to share that with your Grandpa right?!"

Bobby turns to his grandpa "Well Grandpa, that depends. Can you touch your asshole with your dick?"

Grandpa scoffs "Well yes! Of course."

Bobby thinks then yells. "THEN I SUGGEST, YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF OLD MAN".

Entry #110 - Fucker

One day a poor father and his kid were walking home after a long day.

On the way home a guy drives by in a nice vehicle.

The kid asks Dad why does that guy have a car and we don't?

Dad being grouchy says, because hes a f*cker!

They keep walking nearing home a guy walks by with a nice girl, the kid asks again dad how come he has a nice girl and you don't?

Once again dad says, because hes a f*cker.

They finally arrived home and the dad asks so did you learn anything today after being out all day?

The kid replies, All I know is I wanna be a fucker, and I think you're an idiot for not being one.

Entry #109 - Untitled

A guy came into a bar one day and said to the barman,
"Give me six double vodka."

The barman says,
"Wow! you must have had one really bad day."

"Yes, I've just found out my older brother is gay."

The next day the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks.

When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came back,
"I've just found out that my younger brother is gay too!"

On the third day the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas.

The bartender said,
"WOW! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?"

"Yeah, my wife..."

Entry #108 - Untitled

One night two drunks were wandering the town trying to get drinks, but between the two of them, they only had a dollar and change. So the first drunk says, "Hey, I've got an idea - we put our money together and buy a hot dog."

The second drunk, looking at him puzzled, says, "What the hell? I don't want a hot dog; I want a goddamn drink!"

The first says, "I know. We buy the hot dog, stick it down the front of my pants, go into a bar and order our drinks. When the bartender tells us the price, you drop to your knees and suck the hot dog like you're sucking my dick - and the bartender will throw us out and we won't have to pay for anything!"

The second drunk says, "Well, it sounds like a good enough idea to me."

So they buy the hot dog and the first drunk sticks it down his pants. They go into a bar, order two whiskeys, and when the bartender tells them the price, the second drunk drops to his knees and sucks on the hot dog. The bartender throws them out and tells them not to come back.

The drunks go on to hit 19 bars. Finally, the second drunk says, "We've got to switch places 'cause my knees hurt from dropping to the floor."

The first drunk says, "You think that's bad? I lost the hot dog in the third bar!"

Entry #107 - Friendship among men and women

Friendship among Women:

A woman didn't come home one night. The next morning she told her
husband that she had slept over at a friend's house. The man called his
wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it.


Friendship among Men:

A man didn't come home one night. The next morning he told his wife that
he had slept over at a friend's house. The woman called her husband's 10
best friends.
Eight confirmed that he had slept over, and two said he was still there.

Entry #106 - Nick, the Dragon Slayer

Once upon a time lived a beautiful Queen with large breasts.

Nick the Dragon Slayer obsessed over the Queen for this reason. He knew that the penalty for his desire would be death should he try to touch them, but he had to try.

One day Nick revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Horatio the Physician, the King's chief doctor.. Horatio thought about this and said that he could arrange for Nick to more than satisfy his desire, but it would cost him 1000 gold coins to arrange it. Without pause Nick readily agreed to the scheme.

The next day, Horatio made a batch of itching powder and poured a little bit into the Queen's bra while she bathed. Soon after she dressed, the itching commenced and grew intense.

Upon being summoned to the Royal Chambers to address this incident, Horatio informed the King and Queen that only a special saliva, if applied for four hours, would cure this type of itch, and that tests had shown that only the saliva of Nick would work as the antidote to cure the itch. The King, eager to help his Queen, quickly summoned Nick to their chambers.. Horatio then slipped Nick the antidote for the itching powder, which he put into his mouth, and for the next four hours, Nick worked passionately on the Queen's large and magnificent breasts. The Queen's itching was eventually relieved, and Nick left satisfied and hailed as a hero. Upon returning to his chamber, Nick found Horatio demanding his payment of 1000 gold coins. With his obsession now satisfied, Nick couldn't have cared less knowing that Horatio could never report this matter to the King and with a laugh told him to get lost.

The next day, Horatio slipped a massive dose of the same itching powder into the King's underwear. The King immediately summoned Nick.

Entry #105 - The affair

A man returns home a day early from a business trip. It's after midnight. While en route home he asks the cabby if he would be a witness.

The man suspects his wife is having an affair and he wants to catch her in the act. For $100, the cabby agrees.

Quietly arriving home, the husband and cabby tip toe into the bedroom. The husband switches on the lights, yanks the blanket back and there is his wife in bed with another man!

The husband puts a gun to the naked man's head.
The wife shouts, "Don't do it! I lied when I told you I inherited money."
HE paid for the Corvette I gave you.
HE paid for our new cabin cruiser.
HE paid for your season Pittsburgh Steelers tickets.
HE paid for our house at the lake.
HE paid for our country club membership, and HE even pays the monthly dues!'

Shaking his head from side-to-side, the husband lowers the gun. He looks over at the cabby and says, 'What would you do?

The cabby replies, "I'd cover his ass with that blanket before he catches cold."

Entry #104 - SMARTASS ANSWER

SMARTASS ANSWER #6
It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline.
"Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked John, seated in front.
"What are my choices?" John asked.
"Yes or no," she replied.

SMARTASS ANSWER #5
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her.
Without missing a beat, she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."

SMARTASS ANSWER #4
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family.
She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

SMARTASS ANSWER #3
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window.
"I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.
The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

SMARTASS ANSWER #2
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles.

Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."

SMARTASS ANSWER #1
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow.

I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"

A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"

The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.

Entry #103 - Untitled

Harry and his wife are having hard financial times, so they decide she'll become a hooker. She's not quite sure what to do, so Harry says, "Stand in front of that bar and pick up a guy. Tell him a hundred bucks. If you've got a question, I'll be parked around the corner."

She's not there five minutes when a guy pulls up and says, "How much?" She says, "A hundred dollars." He says "Shit. All I've got is thirty." She says, "Hold on."

She runs back to Harry and says, "What can he get for thirty dollars?" Harry says, "A handjob." She runs back and tells the guy all he gets for thirty dollars is a handjob. He says okay, she gets in the car, he unzips his pants, and out pops a very HUGE penis.

She stares at it for a minute, and then says, "I'll be right back." She runs back around the corner and says breathlessly, "Harry, can you loan this guy seventy bucks?

Entry #102 - Untitled

A man and his wife were driving on the highway one night when he got pulled over by the cops for speeding.

The cop walks up and informs the man of his unlawful deed.

"I never speed," says the man.

The wife chimes in, "Oh yes you do - all the time!"

The man says, "Dammit honey, would shut your damn mouth?"

The cop sees the man wasn't wearing his seat belt and says, "Sir, I'm also going to issue you a citation for not wearing your seat belt."

"I was wearing my seat belt sir -I just took it off," says the man.

The wife chimes in again and says, "Officer, he never wears his seat belt."

The husband says "Quit being a bitch and keep your fucking mouth shut."

The cop then asks, "Ma'am, does your husband always speak with such callous vulgarity to you like this?"

"Nah," she says, "Only when he drinks all day."

Entry #101 - Man and woman

What a woman says...

This place is a mess! C'mon!
You and me need to clean up!
Your stuff is lying on the floor and
You'll have no clothes to wear if we
don't do laundry right now!

What a man hears...

blah blah blah blah blah C'MON!
YOU AND ME blah blah blah blah!
blah blah blah blah ON THE FLOOR blah
blah blah NO CLOTHES blah blah blah blah
blah blah blah RIGHT NOW!

Entry #100 - Husband Wanted!

A lonely woman, aged 70, decided that it was time to get married. She put an ad in the local paper that read:

HUSBAND WANTED!
MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (70's),
MUST NOT BEAT ME,
MUST NOT RUN AROUND ON ME,
AND MUST STILL BE GOOD IN BED!
ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN PERSON.

On the second day she heard the doorbell. Much to her dismay, she opened the door to see a gray-haired gentleman with no arms or legs sitting in a wheelchair. The old woman said, "You're not really asking me to consider you, are you? Just look at you.... you have no legs!" The old man smiled, "Therefore I cannot run around on you!"

She snorted. "You don't have any hands either!" Again the old man smiled, "Nor can I beat you!"

She raised an eyebrow and gazed intently. "Are you still good in bed?" With that, the old gentleman leaned back, beamed a big broad smile and said, "I rang the doorbell, didn't I?"

Entry #99 - Brave woman

A man and his wife entered a dentist's office.
The wife said, "I want a tooth pulled. I don't want gas or Novocain because I'm in a terrible hurry. Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible."

"You're a brave woman," said the dentist. "Now, show me which tooth it is."

The wife turns to her husband and says: "Open your mouth and show the dentist which tooth it is, dear."

Entry #98 - Untitled

There was this couple that had been married for 20 years.

Every time they made love the husband insisted on shutting off the light. Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous.

She figured she would break him of this crazy habit. So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on the lights. She looked down and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated leisure device... A vibrator! Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one.

She went completely ballistic. "You impotent bastard," she screamed at him, "How could you be lying to me all of these years? You better explain yourself!"

The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly: "I'll explain the toy . . You explain the 3 kids."

Entry #97 - Dear Santa..

Deer Santa,
I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. I'v ben a gud boy all yeer.

Yer Friend, Billy

Dear Billy,
Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawncare. How about I send you a book so you can learn to read and spell? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell.
Santa

************************************************** ***
************************************************** **

Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody!

Love, Sarah

Dear Sarah,
Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they

Santa

************************************************** **
************************************************** **

Dear Santa,
I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do.

Love, Teddy

Dear Teddy,
Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid mom, who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that dream. Let me send you some Legos instead.

Santa
************************************************** **
************************************************** **

Dear Santa,
I want a new bike, a Playstation 2, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum kit, a pony and a tuba.

Love, Francis

Dear Francis,
Who names their kid 'Francis' nowadays. I bet you're gay. I'll set you up with a Barbie.

Santa

************************************************** **
************************************************** **

Dear Santa,
I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer outside the back door.

Love, Susan

Dear Susan,
Milk gives me the shits and carrots make the deer fart in my face when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Leave me a bottle of Scotch.

Santa

************************************************** **
************************************************** **

Dear Santa,
What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys?

Your friend, Thomas

Dear Thomas,
All the toys are made in China. I have a condo in Vegas where I spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinking myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while losing money at the craps table. Hey, you wanted to know.

Santa

************************************************** **
************************************************** **

Dear Santa,
Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're awake, like in the song?

Love, Jessica

Dear Jessica,
Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do. I'm skipping your house.

Santa

************************************************** **
************************************************** **

Dear Santa, I really want a puppy this year. Please, please, please, PLEASE, PLEASE could I have one?

Love, Timmy

Dear Timmy,
That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap doesn't work with me. You're getting a sweater.............. again.

Santa

************************************************** **
************************************************** **

Dearest Santa,
We don't have a chimney in our house. How do you get into our home?

Love, Marky

Dear Mark,
First stop calling yourself 'Marky', that's why you're getting your ass whipped at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a low-rent apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like the boogeyman does, through your bedroom window.

Sweet dreams,
Santa

Entry #96 - Fishing trip

Two redneck guys go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment: the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. They spend a fortune.

The first day they go fishing, but they don't catch anything.
The same thing happens on the second day, and on the third day.
It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of the men catches a fish.
As they're driving home they're really depressed. One guy turns to the other and says, "Do you realize that this one lousy fish we caught cost us $1500?"

The other guy says, "Wow! It's a good thing we didn't catch any more!"

Entry #95 - Untitled

A Marine was deployed to Afghanistan. While he was there he received a letter from his girlfriend. In the letter she explained that she had slept with two guys while he had been gone and she wanted to break up with him. AND, she wanted pictures of herself back.

So the Marine did what any squared-away Marine would do. He went around to his buddies and collected all the unwanted photos of women that he could find. He then mailed about 25 pictures of women (with clothes and without) to his girlfriend with the following note:

"I don't remember which one you are. Please remove your pictures and send the rest back."

Entry #94 - Love-making

Frenchman, an Italian and an American were discussing love-making.

"Last night I made love to my wife three times" boasted the Frenchman. "She was in sheer ecstasy this morning..."

"Ah, last night I made love to my wife six times," the Italian responded, "and this morning she made me a wonderful omelette and told me she could never love another man."

When the American remained silent, the Frenchman smugly asked, "And how many times did you make love to your wife last night?"

"Once." he replied.

"Only once?" the Italian arrogantly snorted. "And what did she say to you this morning?"

"Don't stop."